Many years ago, I had the good fortune to meet Dr. Bernie Siegel, the author of Love, Medicine & Miracles. We shared stories of 'exceptional patients' who experienced remarkable recoveries or lived far longer than expected. I have used the concept of the 'exceptional patient' throughout my career in clinical medicine, and I believe it underlies many of the positive outcomes I've participated in.
Here are the characteristics and practices of a patient who went on to have an exceptional result:
Gratitude practice. Even small, daily acknowledgments rewire the brain over time toward a more hopeful baseline. Focus on what you can control (your attitude, your effort, your choices) and release what you can't.
Don't do it alone. Bring a trusted friend or family member as a second set of ears; they often catch details you might miss and can help advocate on your behalf.
Celebrate small wins and set meaningful goals. A good day, a stable result, finishing treatment, these matter. Having something to look forward to gives the body and mind a reason to push forward
Follow directions explicitly. Medicines and supplements are prescribed according to pharmacological rules. A remedy prescribed to be taken twice daily will likely not be even half as effective as when taken at the prescribed dose. Same with skipping days.
Advocate for yourself (or find someone who can.) If you feel dismissed or unheard, it's okay to push back respectfully or seek care elsewhere. You're an equal partner in the process.
Communicate clearly and honestly. Don't downplay symptoms or withhold information out of embarrassment. Doctors can only work with what you tell them. If something feels off, say so.
Ask good questions. Here are a few I often get that I think are helpful and effective:
- 'What is my diagnosis/explanation of what’s happening, in plain language?'
- 'Are there simpler, safer, or less expensive alternatives?'
- 'What lifestyle changes (diet, exercise, sleep, stress management) would help most?'
- 'What are my options (including doing nothing or watchful waiting)? '
- 'What should I watch for as warning signs, and when/how should I contact you?'
- 'What happens next, and what’s the follow-up plan?'
Keep records and chart data. Track symptoms, side effects, and progress (apps or simple journals help). Request access to your medical records and test results. In the US, you have a legal right to them. Portals like MyChart make this easier than ever.
Limit catastrophizing. Ask: 'Is this fear pointing me toward something I should act on?' If yes, act. If it's just spinning, that's a signal to redirect your attention. The mind tends to jump to worst-case scenarios. Gently challenge those thoughts — 'Is this definitely true? What's the actual evidence?'
Talk to others who've been through it. Patient communities and support groups can normalize your experience and show you that people do get through hard things.
Shift from a passive recipient of care to an active, informed partner. Doctors have expertise; you have irreplaceable knowledge of your own body and life. The best outcomes come from combining both.
Build a relationship. Continuity with a primary care provider who knows your history is genuinely valuable. Respect goes both ways: being courteous and honest makes collaboration easier.
Make lifestyle a part of the picture. Sleep, diet, stress, and exercise affect nearly every condition. Work with a knowledgeable lifestyle expert who can navigate both this realm and the conventional medical world, and who is knowledgeable about food/ supplement, and herbal interactions with medications. The exceptional patient doesn't just manage their body; they tend to their inner life as an equally serious part of healing.
Perspective is everything. In practice, I would often work with patients who had been told there was little more conventional medicine could do for them, or that their condition had a low survival rate. It was amazing to see the change in their facial expression when I would share my treatment strategy with them:
'Yes, you do have a serious condition with a 5-10% chance of survival. However, somebody has to wind up in that 5-10%, and my job is to make sure you're one of them.'
